As I was listening to the radio tonight a woman called in to request a song for her Husband. She gushed about how she had the relationship that every woman wishes for. She had literally married her Prince Charming. I began fantasizing about my man romancing me with a jacuzzi full of rose petals, exotic vacations, and diamonds…lots and lots of sparkly diamonds.
The Little Things
Then the woman said something that snapped me out of my grandiose fantasies, bringing me back to reality and into an aha! moment. She said that though her husband was at times romantic in the traditional sense, it was really the little things he did everyday that proved to her how important her happiness was to him.
She mentioned that she wasn’t a morning person and that her husband was well aware of it. Instead of giving her a hard time or completely avoiding her in the mornings, he actually did things to help her mornings run smoothly. Even in the face of grumpiness and morning breath!
He would do simple, yet meaningful gestures from having her coffee ready when she woke up to warming up her car before she left for work. These things may seem mundane to a morning person, but to someone who favors the snooze button these small actions are huge. That is the beauty of it. The fact that he pays attention to her needs and seeks out ways to fulfill those needs on a daily basis proves just how deep his love runs for her.
Anyone can temporarily buy someone’s love with gifts and lavish vacations. Anyone can string words together in a sentence to flatter and charm. But when it comes to real love it’s the little things that have the biggest meaning. It’s the smaller things that take the most effort. They take thought. They take continuous action. They take listening. They take knowing. They take caring. They take a lot. And because they take a lot, they mean a lot.
Can’t buy love
Traditional commercial romance is done to impress. To woo. To sweep one off their feet. Of course in our capitalistic society everything has to have a price tag. Even love. It’s so easy to get caught up in the materialistic idea that the more money one spends the more important the recipricant must be to that person. Yes, I too have fallen into that trap. Just ask my romantically challenged Fiancé.
I have berated the poor man more times than I care to admit about his lack of romantic gestures. It seems every time I get on Facebook women are gushing about how their husband’s or boyfriend’s surprised them with a dozen roses, a date night, or weekend getaway. It would always make me question why mine never did the same. Doesn’t he love me? Aren’t I worth all the beautiful expensive things money can buy?
What really matters
And then I heard that woman tonight on the radio. I heard her gush about what really matters. The little gestures that cost nothing, yet mean everything. The consideration her husband had for her feelings and needs were what made her heart beat faster for him. Not the store bought things. That stuff is easy and impersonal.
I realized at that moment that I too have a Prince Charming. Even a Saint maybe for all he puts up with! Curtis may not bring me flowers or whisk me away on spontaneous vacations (pretty hard to do with 4 kids) but he knows me.
He wipes away my tears, and sometimes (sorry to out you babe) he even cries with me. He makes me laugh. He texts me every day on his lunch break to check in about how my day is going. He takes over parenting duties when my stress levels become more than I can handle. He supports me. He understands me. He loves me for who I am, never trying to change me.
True love comes from the soul, not the wallet
Curtis is an amazing man. I am so grateful to have found someone as unromantic as him! Because romance, as portrayed by our society, is shallow. It isn’t about love. It is really about spending hard earned dollars on material items to fool another into feeling adoration. And even sometimes it is used in more sinister ways, such as distracting a person from the other’s wrong doings.
True love has no price tag. It comes from the soul. Something so deep and so real can’t be faked. It can be masked but eventually the mask will come off. I’m not saying all gifts that are bought are meaningless. I’m just saying there has to be more. There has to be depth. There has to be effort. From both parties. After all, it takes 2 to be in a relationship.
So to that woman who called in tonight in honor of her Prince Charming, thank you! Thank you for reminding me that though romance may consist of champagne and roses, real love is about all the little things we often overlook while waiting and wishing for what we perceive to be the bigger things. I’m pretty sure my Prince Charming thanks you too!